previous post<\/a>.\u00a0 Today, the focus is on sex and love when \u201csheltering in place\u201d during the COVID-19 pandemic.<\/p>\nMany individuals express how sleep patterns, inability to exercise, being constantly in close proximity with their partners (many with children at home) erode their desire for sex and romance.\u00a0 In fact, many couples are not thinking about sex \u2013 \u2013 at all!\u00a0 This is understandable.\u00a0 Network television and books continue to be solid distractions, as are streaming entertainment options, games, online and paper-based learning options.\u00a0 Many people I know are channeling their energy to learn new arts & crafts. Couples and individuals with children dream of that much time on their hands, adding homeschooling <\/em>to a To-Do List that was already quite long.\u00a0 Perhaps everyone is incredibly grateful for an opportunity to sneak in the occasional mid-day nap.<\/p>\nStay At Home Hub<\/h3>\n
Sex within relationships, as well as solo-sex, can be another healthy option.\u00a0 Yes, even during a pandemic. \u00a0Maybe we\u2019ve all read one of the countless articles about how sex toys, porn sites, dating \/ \u201chook up\u201d apps, and cam-to-cam sex sites remain incredibly popular despite the pandemic. The incredibly popular online site, Porn Hub, has been comically referred to as Stay At Home Hub.\u00a0 If that isn\u2019t an indication that sex is on people\u2019s minds, I do not know what is!\u00a0 Many couples with active sex lives are suddenly quite pleased to have a \u201cquarantine buddy<\/strong>\u201d or \u201cquarantine lover<\/strong>\u201d right at home; this makes gratitude and appreciation for their partner that much easier.\u00a0 While popular memes depict post-pandemic divorce rates skyrocketing, this message is balanced by a future thirteen years from now in which kids will be referred to as the \u201cquaranteens,\u201d having been a product of parents with ample time to focus on reproductive activities while in some version of \u201clockdown.\u201d<\/p>\nBut many express how one individual making up the partnership remains interested in sex even as the other person finds sex utterly unappealing.\u00a0 It is fairly easy to understand how any of the aforementioned considerations may pull one person away from their sexuality and sexual drive<\/em> just as much as it makes sense how a person could focus on \u2018adult playtime\u2019 of a sexual kind.<\/p>\nIf you find yourself uncertain of how your partner is feeling about sex, the principles that enable good conversations about health, money, plans, and emotions are the same principles that apply to sex.\u00a0 However, sex can be a topic many couples, including long-term marriages, simply do NOT speak about, leaving it to random opportunities and \u2018chance\u2019 to enable sex to occur in their lives.\u00a0 Confronted with being in one another\u2019s presence 24\/7, or some variation thereof, awkward silence, as well as feelings of hurt and anger about that silence, may result.\u00a0 Anxiety about potential bad outcomes when talking about sex may again promote silence and the feelings associated.<\/p>\n
Sex in Quarantine<\/h3>\n
It is a compliment for a partner to bring up the subject of sex while in quarantine.\u00a0 That said, it can be out of great respect and kindness that a particular partner avoids the topic.\u00a0 When our intent or our partner\u2019s intent is left to silence, we lose the opportunity to actually know, left to our assumptions about that silence.\u00a0 Loss of an opportunity to continue to get to know one\u2019s partner does not make for a better partner or couple.\u00a0 It may maintain household equilibrium in the moment, but intimacy and rapport may suffer for it in the longer run.<\/p>\n
If you decide to speak with your partner about sex, let that partner know your intent with a particular topic. Reassure your partner that curiosity about sex as a subject for conversation means love, caring, and appreciation for that partner.\u00a0 Discussions need to make explicitly clear that there are no right or wrong answers, just honest answers. The goal of sharing thoughts and feelings is not <\/strong>to \u201cget laid\u201d or \u201chave an awesome sex-filled date night\u201d (unless both partners agree that is a great plan post-conversations).<\/p>\nDialogue opens up the field of possibilities for what to do if one partner\u2019s idea of making the pandemic easier to handle is sexual in nature.\u00a0 This is true even if or when sex is the last thing on the other partner\u2019s mind.\u00a0 Both are valid and quite understandable states of being during a pandemic, and both require our respect.\u00a0 Pejorative meanings about sex as a coping mechanism, let alone a desire to connect, relax, and experience pleasure, must be relinquished.\u00a0 Judgment about a person\u2019s lack of sex drive must also be renounced. After all, sex can be a wonderful way to find a deeper intimacy, more meaningful shared acceptance for one another.\u00a0 The intimacy that typically comes from sex together may in fact come from providing privacy for one partner to masturbate \u2013 with or without porn, with or without toys \u2013 while the other partner reads, watches television, gardens, catches up with friends or family on Zoom, or catches up on quality sleep.<\/p>\n
We all need a bit of wiggle room when contending with the myriad of unknowns that come with a pandemic like COVID-19.\u00a0 But with a little patience, even the romantic relationships with different sexual drives can be better for having had the time to slow down, share honestly, listen actively. If we permit ourselves \u2013 the individuals making up that romantic relationship \u2013 the freedom to enjoy, distract, connect, and continue to get to know one another, the possibilities (and positions) are nearly endless.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Sex, love and COVID-19: Sex expert\u2019s tips on staying close When speaking with clients during this pandemic, and when consulting with colleagues about what they are hearing from their clients, the well-established best practices for satisfying relationships remain intact.\u00a0 In basic terms, these are the ways we remain connected, flexible, playful, loyal, honest with each […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7537,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7532","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-posts"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/exclusivesamplewebsites.com\/michaelneemft\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7532","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/exclusivesamplewebsites.com\/michaelneemft\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/exclusivesamplewebsites.com\/michaelneemft\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/exclusivesamplewebsites.com\/michaelneemft\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/exclusivesamplewebsites.com\/michaelneemft\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7532"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/exclusivesamplewebsites.com\/michaelneemft\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7532\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7538,"href":"https:\/\/exclusivesamplewebsites.com\/michaelneemft\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7532\/revisions\/7538"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/exclusivesamplewebsites.com\/michaelneemft\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7537"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/exclusivesamplewebsites.com\/michaelneemft\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7532"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/exclusivesamplewebsites.com\/michaelneemft\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7532"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/exclusivesamplewebsites.com\/michaelneemft\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7532"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}